hello everybody (:


Bear with this ranting, I'm so sorry. haha don't waste your time going on to read this if smth's more impt.
Well then maybe you'd ask me what's impt that i've got to get down with this post, hurh, i dont know, i think it's maybe because you'd be able to relate to it somehow.


From all the moments of unity in being part of the most bonded team ever, we're doomed to this inevitability of individualism.
Individualism in the sense of having the need to imbibe all the knowledge that's essential for us to conquer the A levels. Don't ask why the need to, but who doesn't want 4 As and more? Oh well.
They say that JC life is probably the hardest phase in academia. In my mind, at a moment like this, the clause 'hardest phase' immediately drew a link to individualism.


After some thought and sharing, I think I'm down to this conclusion that JC, with regards to A levels, is all about SELF. Hah first impression after this is that it may be damn ironic but from this i have actually came to realise and appreciate, how blessed we are to belong to this team, how blessed we are to have each other.


Generally, right from inception to college, all the way till now, when everyone's in preparation for the greatest exam, the route here was fun and enriching. I must say i really enjoyed J1-life. Hah but right down to this moment in time, when it's just a mere 2+ months to the A levels, reality is, we're all on our own. Damn, it's a bitter pill to swallow. Damn.


At this point in time, group study and what nots are simply just sessions to get people together, but ultimately everyone's just fulfilling their own goals, their own agenda. Materially speaking, it is covering up their own weaknesses to prime up for A levels. Mentality-wise, we're all just individualistically spurred on not to die out, not to get an ugly set of results.
Most evidently, check out the influx in the library. Scholar classes can pon math revision lectures just because they've got their own revision plans.


Day to day, we're just getting more well-oiled and removing the cogs in clockworks of our knowledge. Surely, it's one great challenge for us to conquer.
And when it all ends, it's liberation, and what really mattered was how much we've improved as person after this hectic 2 years. As canoeists who all belong to this wonderful team, I'm sure it doesn't fail to put a smile on all our faces (:


Let me not nag about how much the system of A levels aren't exactly preparatory for us to get into society next time, maybe just that intensity. But if it's this kind of individualism that we must tackle in order to get knowledge for A levels, what about master degrees and PhD? (ok i know the testing is different, Haha.) Well then maybe, just maybe, individualism is really inevitable. Or maybe it's just these stupid thing called exams. Or maybe it's just that we felt too much bonding as a team, that individualism isn't easy. (well at least for me)


Transition from being a student-athlete to full-time studying was kinda difficult for me. Withdrawal symptoms to paddle lasted long, lucky it's all gone now. The longing to be as a team still warms in your heart, and that i still very much look forward to one day where all of us just get down to Bedok, paddle to our hearts' content, then go for dinner at TM again. Just once again, would be so beautiful. Hahah ;D
All of the lustre, the medals, the victory, the downfalls, the crap, the tears were all there for a reason. I think it's great that as a senior, as we move on, we leave this whole wollop of experience to the j1s to embrace and to find their own fun to it.


I guess i'm moving on, to find more things in life that evoke even greater meaning. I've learnt to accept to be 'unhealthy', that which i dreaded so much after season - losing fitness. Haha. Whatever 41 pulls ups, 140push-ups/per minutes, 9.4+ 2.4, 1.50+ K1 500m, sub 1.40 K4 500m, are just all beautiful things of the past- History. Theyre just material.


I'm beginning to accept the normal lifestyle. And conversely, in my quest of intellectual discovery, it's getting more interesting. Heh.
But like what has been said one million times, it's how much we gain mentally, how much we've developed in these 2 years. At a time like now, it's no longer how long we can last at a 1.40 running pace, our how many sets os 4 minute 1k sets we can do. What really matters now, is that self-discovery and the lenses that canoeing has given. The lenses through which we see what's around us. The realisation of our capabilities and the values that we subscribe to.


Haha I remember the most basic of anyone pushing their limits in fitness, they'd say, "It's all in the mind." But now that's there's another focus, this phrase has another perspective. In our lifestyle transition, It surely is all in the mind that matters, for all of life's other dealings. Paradoxical how we use it? Hmmf. Or perhaps it's just generic and for the long term. Ahh.
Oh yea it's all in the mind, see that thick stack of notes, theyre nestling within your brain cells, all there. Haha. (cos i suddenly got reminded how near are we to the As alrd)


jia you everyone!




eugene.